


The Burts and the Bees

by ElliottRook



Category: Glee
Genre: Awkwardness, Episode: s02e15 Sexy, Episode: s02e16 Original Song, Good Parent Burt Hummel, M/M, Protective Burt Hummel, Sex Education
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23299099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElliottRook/pseuds/ElliottRook
Summary: The first time Burt met Blaine, he was waking up hungover in Kurt's bed. The second time Burt met Blaine, Blaine insisted that Kurt desperately needed The Talk. The third time Burt met Blaine, he was Kurt's boyfriend. Burt feels his paternal instincts kicking in.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 76





	The Burts and the Bees

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this right after 2x15, "Sexy," aired, and it was just supposed to be a look into Blaine's head, and how he was starting to fall for Kurt but trying to fight the thoughts and keep a straight--pun not intended--face on to get through his _awwwwwkward_ conversation with Burt. Then 2x16, "Original Song" aired, and it turned into this. Because...really? You can't tell me this didn't cross Burt's mind. Spoilers for those episodes and 2x14, "Blame It On the Alcohol" (which will forever be "Blaine It On the Alcohol" in my mind).
> 
> Previously published on my now-gone website as The Sex Talk, but come on, that pun hit me and I couldn't not!

"Need a hand?"

Blaine stands nervously for a second, realizing that Burt Hummel has every right to be a little bit pissed at him, but he also knows that his mission today is too important to be discarded, or even delayed.

Burt looks at him evenly. This is the boy that had...slept over, for lack of a better term, with Kurt, last weekend. Blaine, he remembers. Burt's not good with names but the way Kurt's eyes lit up when he said it made this one stick. Now that Blaine's showered and dressed and looking respectable, Burt decides to give him a chance. He was sure the young man had been embarrassed enough by their first encounter, no need to rehash it. Maybe.

"Yeah, why don't you hand me that carburetor?"

Blaine smiles a bit to himself, turning to the parts rack and picking up exactly the right part, handing it to Mr. Hummel.

"How'd you know which one it was?"

"My dad and I rebuilt a '59 Chevy in our driveway two summers ago. One of his...many attempts at bonding." Blaine smiles.

Burt is still not sure what Blaine wants, exactly. "You here looking for parts?" he asks, cautiously.

Blaine pulls together his courage. "No, actually, I wanted to talk to you about Kurt."

Kurt. Blaine is beginning to see Kurt in a different light. Somehow, at first, he had been blind to Kurt's crush on him. After Kurt's Valentine's Day confession, though, Blaine felt like an idiot. In retrospect, it was so _obvious_. And Blaine can't deny that the two of them have a lot in common, and it's just this side of possible that the reason Blaine hadn't noticed just how flirty their duets were was that the flirtiness came so _naturally_. Effortlessly.

But Blaine didn't want to hurt Kurt, he wanted to be absolutely sure of his own feelings, because there was no way he could handle knowing that he'd broken Kurt's heart. Hence, his request to stay friends. But ever since that moment (other than a confusing day or two during his short-lived relationship with one Rachel Berry), Blaine's found himself thinking of Kurt more and more in a romantic way. Today, when he'd been singing Animal with Kurt, he had _meant_ the line _I kinda wanna be more than friends_.

And now, suddenly, with all the fuss over the idea of sexing things up for Regionals, he's thinking of Kurt in...well. That way. Kurt's faces in the mirror this afternoon had been more adorable than sexy, granted, but Blaine's watched the YouTube videos. He knows that Kurt _can_ bring the sexy when he's not trying so hard. Suddenly Blaine finds himself thinking of Kurt in the Vogue video he had helped Coach Sylvester make, and for half a second he can't concentrate at all.

Luckily Burt pulls him back to reality pretty quickly. "Is he okay?"

Blaine nods, and his next sentence is almost painful. "Have you ever talked to him about...sex?"

Burt is obviously not sure how to answer that one, so he counters with a question. "Are you gay? Or straight? Or...what?"

"I'm..." Blaine hesitates, but last week was an alcohol-fueled mistake. "Definitely gay." _For your son_ , he thinks, but doesn't say.

Burt nods. "Okay. Good. I mean, you know, whatever...but, uh...good for Kurt. He needs someone like you...to talk to."

Blaine suddenly pictures Mercedes saying "Hell to the naw!" _You're not pushing this off on me--Kurt needs you!_ "Well, that's kind of my point," he says. "I've tried talking to him, but he basically puts his fingers in his ears and starts singing." Blaine has no idea then how literally true this will be.

"Well, when he's ready, he'll listen."

Blaine hesitates again. Burt's obviously uncomfortable, and he can feel the flush creeping up his own neck. Maybe Burt's right. If Kurt isn't ready to talk about it, then maybe he isn't ready to experiment either...but that could change. And regardless of where their relationship stands just now, Blaine definitely cares about Kurt and doesn't want anything to happen to him.

"I'm...worried that it might be too late," Blaine says, barreling ahead. Kurt's safety is more important than his own embarrassment. "You know Dalton doesn't even have sex ed classes. Most schools don't, and the ones that do almost never discuss what sex is like for gay kids." _What sex might be like between me and--different tactic!_ he thinks. "Kurt is the most moral, compassionate person I've ever met," he tries. It's true. It's why he's hesitant to move their relationship into romantic. He can see how perfect it could be, but he can also see himself screwing things up royally between them.

Burt smiles, finally. "Well, he gets that from his mother."

"And I'm blown away by you guys's relationship," Blaine confesses. "You think my dad built a car with me because he loves cars? I think he did it because he thought getting my hands dirty might make me straight." The truth of the matter is that this strain is what drove Blaine to work so hard to always come across as calm and in control.

"Yeah, he, uh...talk to you about this kind of stuff?" Burt asks, knowing the answer.

"No, I had to go find it for myself. The Internet is great and all the information is out there, but I went searching for it. Kurt...won't." _And he won't listen to me. And frankly I don't want to have to explain things to him...he should already be informed._ "And one day he'll be at a party and maybe have a few drinks, and he'll meet some guy and maybe start fooling around and he's not gonna know about using protection, or STD's..." Blaine realizes that it's almost painful to think about. If Kurt's going to start fooling around with anyone, he wants it to be him.

 _Oh_. He _wants_ it to be him. Blaine suddenly realizes it, and that this awkward conversation he's having may be the first of many awkward conversations with someone he may end up seeing a lot of. But hopefully no matter what happens, they won't have to mention _this_ conversation ever again.

"I don't have the relationship with my dad that you have with Kurt...I think it would be really cool if you took advantage of that," Blaine finishes. "I'm sorry if I'm overstepping."

Burt just flatly says "You are." But the look on his face is thoughtful.

Blaine nods, and exits the shop, heading back to his car. All he can do is hope he got through to Burt, and that Burt will get through to Kurt.

 _And after all...it kind of kills the mood if I have to teach him everything I've read._ Blaine shakes his head. It wasn't _right_ to be thinking like that! Yet. Maybe Kurt would come to him with questions--or complain about his lame dad--and then he'd have the green light to move things along. If Kurt would still have him. And he was pretty sure that Kurt had enough problems to deal with already, despite the transfer to Dalton. He didn't need a relationship to distract him right now. Or something.

There's something in the back of Blaine's head telling him that his excuses are lame, but he still feels the need to think this over some more. Just a little. Surely, if and when things are meant to be, there'll be some kind of sign.

* * *

It's only about two weeks later that Kurt calls Burt absolutely elated. "Hey, Dad!"

"Whatcha need, son?"

"Would it be a problem to have a dinner guest tonight?"

His tone is so light, so happy. Burt realizes he hasn't heard Kurt this excited since the wedding planning.

"I guess not, but you need to call Carole and let her know, too. Who is it?"

Kurt's voice suddenly pitches just the slightest bit higher. "Well, Dad...um...good news. I...I have a boyfriend now. As of today."

Burt clears his throat. "Uh...well. Good. I, uh, want to meet him, so, yeah, definitely bring him over for dinner."

Now that the news is out, Kurt's words flow fast and free. "Can he come over now, actually? We're singing a duet at Regionals and we could use some practice time."

"Uh, yeah, I'll call Carole and let her know you two are on your way. You can practice in the rec room. Not...uh...not your room." Burt swears he can hear the blush creeping into his son's face as he rubs his temple.

"Okay, Dad. And, um, thanks."

"Yeah. See you tonight."

"Love you, Dad."

"Love you too, Kurt." Burt hangs up.

When he gets home he can hear his son's beautiful voice coming from the rec room, and he finds Carole in the kitchen. He gives her a kiss. "How was your day?"

She shrugs. "Typical."

"So...have you met the boyfriend?"

Carole smiles. "Oh, yes, and he's a sweetheart. He set the table for me and offered to help cook, too, but I told them to go practice. I think you'll like him, hon. And Kurt just looks...so happy."

Burt smiles. All he's ever wanted was for Kurt to be happy.

He waits outside the rec room until the song comes to an end and then he opens the door, clapping.

Kurt and Blaine are sitting on the back of the couch, and Kurt blushes as he realizes they've had an audience.

"You sound great," Burt says.

"Thanks, Dad. It still needs a little work. Um, this is Blaine." Kurt waves a hand in Blaine's direction like he's a game show hostess showing prizes. "Blaine, this is my father, Burt Hummel."

"We've met," Blaine says, but offers his hand to shake. "But I don't think we were formally introduced."

Burt shakes hands, but has a moment of hesitation before letting go. Kurt's in love with the boy who insisted Kurt needed... _educating_. Everything suddenly falls into place, and he almost kind of wants to crush Blaine's hand.

When Blaine's hand is free, he reaches it over to Kurt's arm and coaxes Kurt's hand out of his pocket so he can hold it. He looks at Kurt like Kurt is a treasure.

Which, Burt thinks, he is.

"Good to meet you, Blaine."

There's a commotion by the front door. Finn is home, and a moment later Carole is calling them all to the table. Kurt tries to pull Blaine along, but Burt tells him to go see if Carole needs any more help. Kurt frowns, but he's in too good of a mood to protest. Blaine goes to follow, but Burt grabs his arm and holds him back.

"So. Blaine." Burt coughs. "You mind telling me why you were so anxious about Kurt...learning--"

Blaine's eyes widen in horror. "Sir, I promise that when I asked you to--um--I had no idea that Kurt and I would be--"

"So this is just a fling to you?" Burt frowns.

"No! No sir! No, I care about Kurt. Deeply. I...we've been good friends for a while, and I finally came to my senses. About how amazing he is. I mean, all the pieces were there, and then he came in and sang Blackbird for the rest of the Warblers, and suddenly it all just kinda... _clicked_ , you know?" Blaine attempts a smile, but it falters. "I...I still think it's good that you talked to him. He, uh...told me you talked to him."

Burt nods. "And you didn't make me talk to him just so you'd be able to march in and...uh. Well." He loses his parental resolve partway through his sentence. There's being supportive, and then there are things he just doesn't want to think about. Ever, preferably.

"No! No, I just wanted him to be safe!" Blaine is panicking.

"Safe with _you_?" Burt asks, eyeing him critically.

Blaine's eyes dart down the hallway toward the dining room where he can hear his boyfriend talking to Finn and Carole. "Sir. I...I...what are you asking me?"

"Look, kid. Kurt's been through a lot. Been through _enough_. So please, please just tell me--"

Blaine interrupts. "Oh, I agree."

"Say what?"

"Kurt's been through some horrible stuff, and he's lucky to have you to care and worry about him." Blaine's smile sticks this time. "If you're telling me not to break his heart, I promise, I have no intention of doing any such thing."

"And...the sex talk?"

Blaine flushes and glances at the floor before answering. "I promise, I did _not_ have you talk to him just so I can...um...just for my own personal gain. He's my first boyfriend, too. And we'll take things as slow as Kurt needs us to. And. Um. Obviously your house, your rules..."

Burt nods. No need to torture Blaine, who seems to have his head square on his shoulders--as much as possible given the awkwardness, anyway. "You're okay, kid. Let's go eat."

Blaine lets out an audible sigh of relief and rushes to the dining room, Burt following at a slower pace.

"Hey," Finn says.

"Hi."

"You okay, Blaine? You look a little...warm," Kurt says, patting the seat next to him. Blaine gladly sits and the two hold hands under the table for as long as they can get away with it.

"I'm fine, I promise," Blaine says softly. It's almost true. He takes deep breaths. Deep, calming breaths.

Carole's bringing the main course to the table when Burt comes in and takes his seat at the head of the table.

"Let's eat," he says, offering a smile to everyone in the room. This Blaine kid doesn't seem so bad, he decides. He's not _at all_ ready to think about Kurt having sex--though he knows it's not like his sweet baby boy is going to be a virgin forever--but this Blaine will be pleasant enough to have around in the meantime. Kurt could do worse than this. At least Blaine genuinely seems to care about him.

After dinner, they decide to watch a movie in the rec room, sans Finn who is hanging out with Puck. Blaine chooses a comedy to keep the peace--not a mindless action flick, but not a musical--and Burt watches but says nothing as his son progresses from holding Blaine's hand to leaning on his shoulder, maybe dozing off a little toward the end.

When Blaine finally has to go--his mother has texted, reminding him that he has a test tomorrow--Kurt follows him out to the car, presumably for a good night kiss. Carole has to remind Burt not to watch through the lace curtains in the living room. "They just got together today," she says. "Give them a little space."

Burt grunts and waits for Kurt to come back inside.

It's fifteen minutes later, and Kurt tries to just head up the stairs unnoticed.

"Hey now!"

Burt hears his son's light step pause on the stairs and then slowly walk back down and around the corner. "Yeah, Dad?" Kurt is still pink, and Burt knows it's not from the cold.

"Can we maybe talk a minute?" Burt smiles.

"I have homework, Dad."

"Well, you'll get to it. I just wanted to say I, uh, think Blaine's a nice kid. I approve."

Kurt smiles. "I'm glad."

"He got off on the wrong foot, though. Remember, no more drunken sleepovers. Better yet, no drunk anything. And I know you don't want to talk about it any more than I do, but you know I'm here if you have any questions. About, you know, what we talked about before. Since--things have changed." Burt rubs his temple. "I know you're excited to have a boyfriend and I think he's a good kid, but, you know, don't rush things, okay? You've got all the time in the world. Remember what I told you."

Kurt's eyes widen. "Yeah, okay, time for homework, Dad." He scurries off upstairs.

Burt leans back into the couch, and prays silently to himself that the awkward part is over.


End file.
